
“The sound of her breathing is appropriately proportional to her size, but it’s so loud when I’m doing important things at night, like trying to sleep.”

“There may or may not be a dead body in our living room.” “They’re probably just sleeping. Did you check their pulse?” “No, because they might be dead. I don’t want to touch a dead body.”

“Don’t breathe on that, it’s expensive.”

“Look, he’s smiling. He’s totally fine.” “He’s smiling because he’s terrified.”

“I know you’re still upset with me about that thing we don’t like to talk about, but-“ “That thing we don’t like to talk about was five years ago. Oddly enough, there are other reasons why I’m upset with you right now.”
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