“I know the world is ending, but trust me, I can handle it.” “How can you possibly HANDLE it?” “This ain’t my first rodeo with the coming apocalypse. It’s all routine at this point.”
“Why is there a four candle and an exclamation point candle on my birthday cake? I turned four, twenty years ago.” “It’s not four and an exclamation point, it’s four factorial. I didn’t have a two candle lying around.”
“Someone arrest that dog for obstruction of justice!” “That’s not a thing.” “Do you know how many crime shows I watch? It’s definitely a thing.” “You can’t charge a DOG with human crimes.”
“You are all remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?”
“Today is the worst day EVER!” “What’s wrong?” “I had to put on pants!”
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