“Why are you calling me from the bathroom?” “The cat hopped on my lap and fell asleep. I’m trapped on the toilet.”
“Are you happy here?” “Of course I am! I’ve never been more popular.”
“Here’s the thing: those missing children-“ “What about them, did you find them?” “They’re CIA agents.”
“How did it go?” “Well, we didn’t piss off any hostile alien forces, so I’d call the mission a success.” “Maybe we won’t mention that first part to the press.”
“Who should we go to? Admiral Follows All The Rules, or Admiral Let’s Start A War?” “Unfortunately, I think we need both.”
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